a writhing mass of grifters, self-congratulatory business dorks, hustling hopefuls, shitposters, job seekers, and bored retirees comprises the LinkedIn Business Feed, an abandoned hellsite designed to induce despair in all readers, and feelings of grandeur in the dorks who post content, myself included.

Anodyne, souless corporate brand posts litter the landscape. Useless advice, anecdotes, morality plays, and unfocused ads are the background radiation of a sentient blender on a diet of hope-destruction and failed networking. The death of blogging complete, LinkedIn's feed system is designed to suck the stream of consciousness to the point of mindless, unfeeling linking that makes Microsoft's other acquired network - Yammer - look creative and inspiring by contrast.

The rise of white-on-gray and sterile web design began back in 2010. Coincidentally, so too did the cursed explosion of LinkedIn's growth. The blandification of the internet has been accompanied by the rise of consumption-centric webshites like Facebook and mind-numbing streaming services. The death of GeoCities and MySpace in 2004 were the warning shots, really.

oh god oh god oh why

LinkedIn's soulless and sterile web design is probably partially to blame for the content posted - boxy and boxy, grey and black, like an endless black hole of blandness.

In recent times, LinkedIn has made it harder to post original Content, hiding their blogging feature ("Articles") and eliminating profile customization features like organizing and reordering sections, pushing the LinkedIn Feed as the central and main way to interact with the barely-alive pulse of the business experience.

please just shoot me

It's heartless. It's pointless. It's like a worse version of hellsite twitter - with fewer Nazis, but more versions of Robin Williams' Peter Pan.

I've spent the past few weeks creatively culture jamming LinkedIn by posting memes, terrible MS Paint art, and demotivational posters. But even I have my limits.

LinkedIn is hell.

typical user profile, oh god oh god why